Doubt - It's a Dream Killer
Doubt, Fear, Uncertainty, what are they leaching from your life?
Doubt follows me around like a little puppy always at my heels, nipping my feet at the most random and usually inconvenient times. It’s that little voice in your head that goes “why bother?” or “it’s not worth your time” or “look at those other people, you don’t know as much as them… who will listen to you”. Said in that certain tone in your head, so you doubt your initial instinct, choice, action, etc.
Looking, waiting, searching for the external validation that will either, confirm doubt or give you permission to take action on “that thing” you doubt.
Doubt is the imposter syndrome that you aren’t good enough or smart enough.
Doubt is other voices in your mind that criticize you about doing something you once felt joy for or get inspiration. But you told a family member or that one friend/coworker/acquaintance that shits on everything and now you wonder if it was a good idea after all.
Doubt is society telling you - “You should be this”, “you should have this by [insert age here]”, “you need to know this, at [this] point in your life”, on and on the excuses pile up validating doubt.
By definition doubt means uncertainty; it’s a lack of confidence, it means to have fear.
So I looked up uncertainty. I wanted to know more. And guess what uncertainty means?
It is a lack of knowledge, or not knowing beyond doubt. Do you see the pattern of doubt? Like an Ouroboros, the snake that eats itself. Doubt rears its ugly head and takes you down a rabbit hole that spirals deeper and deeper into a sinkhole of torturous thoughts. Where you don’t always know which thoughts are yours or doubts’.
Abraham Hicks says a thought you keep thinking becomes a belief. A belief is a habit of thoughts you think consistently. Look at how connections in our brain are made; I read a while back, that when you keep doing the same thing those synapses in your brain create stronger connections in your brain. Doing different things, new things, you create new connections; new synapses. It’s as simple as taking a new route to work, visiting new places, learning a new language, learn anything new or do something you’ve never done before.
This brings us to being mindful and determining the quality of our thoughts. Our thoughts will lead our actions. It’s a perspective and your thoughts that create your reality and understanding of the world. Your perspective is the difference between seeing getting fired as a blessing or a curse. Are you seeing roadblocks in your life with the perspective of: “nothing ever goes right” or “everything always works out for me!”. We can’t always control what other people do but we can control how we react, right?! This isn’t a new concept but it helps you transition & change, to pivot your life in ways you never expected before. Life is Cause and effect = thoughts and actions.
My perception of doubt has changed somewhat, my view has expanded to see how doubt has affected my actions and choices.
Lately, I’ve been noticing themes popping up in my life. From a 30 sec reel or YouTube video. When I get caught up doom scrolling in the “gram”. A tv show or movie. A song that comes on the radio or a playlist, a conversation with friends old & new.
Themes are emerging in my life, like the themes in every episode of Grey's Anatomy. The universe is like Shonda Ryhmes bringing me situations sometimes from subtle to glaringly obvious. I’m shown something I need to look at and address in this journey called life.
In the past, and even now, I don't always take action. I doubted myself, didn't think that anyone would be interested in my opinions. I’m starting to share more of my photography, writing, etc. little by little. Sharing my experiences, insights, and what inspires me, how can I be helpful for the handful of followers. Even when I do get the external validation, occasionally there still a lingering doubt. There are many actions I didn’t take because of doubt, uncertainty, and fear. Choosing to let go and deciding to treat my life by experimenting, letting go of the result & do what I what makes me happy, unapologetically.
I’ve been thinking and asking myself the why’s in my life. Why do I doubt myself so much?! Why do I think “what’s wrong with me?” “why do I react a certain way or believe a certain thought…. I ask myself where does it come from? I know there is nothing wrong with me. I am whole and worthy of my dreams and desires. Yet the questions arise. And specifically, I ask myself, “when did I start to blame myself for things that I have no business accepting blame for?”
This is the game changer! The answers that bubbles up from asking those questions, are so insightful and get to the root of my reactions to certain situations. I’ve become a bit obsessed with digging deeper into my “shadow”, getting the insight I need to move forward and heal. It’s a peeling of the onion; each layer is a perspective or understanding peelled back showing you new things you missed before.
It started out unintentional, once I realized how valuable the insights I was getting, that they were deep answers, I needed & started doing it regularly.
Adding another layer; using cannabis, both CBD & THC, helped me loosen control of my conscious thoughts. With my active brain focused, it allowed for an easier flow of thoughts. It would happen when reading, driving (especially long distances), coloring, it could happen while working out, while meditating with music/sounds/mantras. I continue to be amazed by the insights that emerge from asking myself very simple questions. I get chills, I will feel a sense of relief and joy. It’s become a game to see what answers I will get.
Hello, my name is Katie, and I’m an addict.. I love giving unsolicited advice. It’s a way I showthat I care by sharing what has helped me. If you’re interested I wrote a couple of actions and thought processes that help me everyday.
Tell yourself to recognize when you're in this downward spiral of doubt and uncertainty, when you have doubting thoughts that are not your own.
Sit with the feeling, take a mental step back from it and try to feel, see or remember where it came from & how or why you started to feel, think, react, etc.?
You can train your brain to recognize, in the moment, to be mindful of your thoughts. Continue to ask yourself questions. Do this aloud.
Is it valid? What if the opposite was true? What's the BEST that could happen? What action would we take if we didn’t doubt ourselves?
A very powerful switch is — listing all the things your are grateful for in that moment!
Take yourself into an upward spiral of good feeling thoughts.
What’s the worst that could happen if you tried this out? The new thoughts make you start to question other thoughts? Good! That’s the goal of mindfulness. That's all it is. Mindful of the thoughts we take on as fact or belief. We are just conditioned one way. That means we can unlearn and recondition ourselves in a better way.
Is this helpful? I’d love to hear how you find insight, what helps you unintentionally or intentionally? What questions do you ask yourself; do you get the answers you seek?
Let’s talk about it!
